Posts tagged ‘the hound’

Episode 4: “Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things” – Synopsis

Note: Blah blah, something witty.  Disclaimer.  Have not read books.  Plan on it.

Here’s What Happened:

In Winterfell:

The show opens up in Winterfell with Bran practicing his archery.  Right there we know it’s a dream sequence, as, well… kid’s a cripple.  He follows a squawking raven until it lands on a statue of a dire wolf.  HMMMM.  I can tell there is some sort of connection between Bran and the wolves, as he woke up right when Lady was slaughtered (though that might be a stretch), and now this.  Something supernatural, at least.

I bet the third eye is a major clue and means something. NAH.

Bran wakes up, and we can see that he is back to his grumpy self which is a drastic change from his previous cheery self.  Losing the ability to walk can do that.  He gets carried out rather hilariously to where Tyrion is getting a rather chilly reception in the main hall.  Tyrion is curious to what he remembers, but Bran remembers nothing.  Tyrion and Bran seem to like each other anyways.  One of my favorite lines (TYRION GETS ALL THE GOOD ONES):

“I’m not a cripple.”

“Then I’m not a dwarf!  My father will rejoice to hear of it.”

He then gives Bran the sketches to a contraption of sorts so that he will be able to ride a horse.  Robb is impressed and offers him hospitality, but Tyrion refuses.  Outside, Tyrion has a conversation with Theon Greyjoy in which we find out a bit more about this character.  I still wasn’t quite sure what was going on so I looked up the family tree for Theon on the HBO website, and apparently he is a ward of House Stark, meant to ensure that his family won’t attack the Starks again.  I gathered that it was something like that.

Tyrion points out the irony of him being so fiercely loyal to the Starks, and Theon seems uncomfortable/annoyed with this.  Tyrion sure knows how to ruffle people’s feathers.

I enjoy it a bit too much. So does Tyrion. Give Peter an Emmy already!

He asks for Lady Stark, and quickly deduces that she isn’t at the Keep.  Much to Theon’s dismay.  Oh well.

We switch scenes to an inn on the Kingsroad and find Catelyn who has a made a brief stop on her way back to Winterfell.  Tyrion then walks in with a grand entrance as he is on his way out of Winterfell, and starts throwing money around to get a room.  He probably would have gone off then to hire a whore, but he then sees Lady Stark, and alerts her presence to the rest of the tavern.  Rather than acknowledge Tyrion, Catelyn stands up and starts demonstrating how much loyalty she has among the people around her.  Which is pretty much everyone.

For once, Tyrion is confused.

She then tells all these men that have been called out that the dwarf standing there conspired to murder her son and demands them to seize Tyrion. (CALLED IT.)  They all draw their swords.

I hope his wit can get him out of this one.

I have to admit, it was a pretty cool scene.  Even though I’m rooting for Tyrion.

Across the Narrow Sea:

The nomadic group of Dothraki rides through the Horse Gate (pretty cool looking) and into the city of Vaes Dothrak.  Vicerys is less than pleased, and starts bad-mouthing the Dothraki.  Daenerys tells her brother that they are her people now, and to not speak of them that way.  He snipes back that it is his army, and they are marching the wrong way with his army.

As Vicerys rides away, Dany asks Ser Jorah if her brother would actually be capable of leading the Dothraki to the Seven Kingdoms.  I think we all know the answer to that.

Vicerys cools down (in one way) by having a bath in one of the pleasure bath houses with the handmaiden Doreah.  She is fascinated by dragons, and asks about them.  She is saddened to learn that the last remains of the dragons in the King’s Court are probably destroyed.  Vicerys gets peeved again, as he didn’t hire a whore to make him sad.  She then lets on that she thinks she was bought to teach Dany to be a better lover.

Vicerys doesn’t like this.

Word of advice: telling a girl to "go on, get on with it" is probably not the sexiest thing to say.

After the awkward sex, Vicerys drags Doreah into his sister’s tent by her hair and screams at Daenerys for daring to give him ‘commands’.  She tells him it was invitation to receive a gift, but Vicerys is enraged further by it and says: “Dothraki rags?  You’re trying to dress me now?”
He then asks if she is going to ‘braid his hair as well’, to which Dany says she can’t because he hasn’t won any fights yet.  OH SNAP. He smacks her across the face and tells her that she has ‘awaken the dragon’ (I SWEAR HE’S TALKING ABOUT HIS PENIS).  Dany then pulls a surprising move and slashes her brother across the face with a sharp chain necklace.  She tells him that the next time he lays a hand on her is the last time he will have hands.

I guess his dragon isn't so impressive. Or penis.

She has a talk later with Ser Jorah, and realizes that her brother can’t and shouldn’t sit on the Iron Throne.

At the Wall

Back at the Wall, Jon is teaching his new friends at the Wall how to fight.  A new recruit arrives named Sam who is horribly dreadful at fighting.  I mean, bad.

Really, really bad.

I think I could do better.  Anyways, whats-his-face douchebag seems to have no issue beating the shit out of him, but Jon gets that woogie look on his face (you know the look), and jumps to his defense.  His Commander or whatever isn’t too happy with this and decides to sick all three of them on Sam (but they have to get through Jon first).  His two friends are not too happy about this as they know they are going to get their ass kicked.

And they do.

Have I mentioned that I adore Jon Snow yet?  Uh…

Anyways, I’m kinda feeling sorry for Sam at this point.  Jon seems mildy annoyed to be interacting with him afterwards and tells him that it isn’t going to get any easier.  That, you know, he’s actually going to have to defend himself at some point.  Sam says he wanted to, but couldn’t… because he’s a coward.  Well, yeah.  He walks away kinda pathetically and it made me go :(.

Later that night, Sam comes across Jon at the top of wall (new watch partner) but is reluctant to get close to fire at the edge.  He claims he isn’t cold, but Jon says YA RITE and makes him get closer to the fire.  Apparently he doesn’t like heights.  Jon points this out along with his fear of everything else and asks why he is even at the Wall.  Sam tells Jon that on the morning of his 18th name day his father came to him and told him that he was not worthy of his title or inheritance and that he would have to join the Night Watch.  If he didn’t, his Father was, well… going to kill him.


He then asks Jon if he is going to fight the next day, and of course, he is.  Sam despondently says that he isn’t going to get any better, but Jon quips that he can’t get any worse. (Don’t be so sure. <.<)  There seems to be something of a bro-mance forming.  The next day Jon is having breakfast with everyone, and his friends are making fun of Sam.  Jon reminds them of the lesson he learned in the last episode… that Sam is the same as the rest of them, no place in the outside world.  He tells them not to hurt Sam anymore, and whats-his-face douchebag decides that he doesn’t care what Jon thinks.

Jon reminds him why he should care. Also... Ghost!

During training, everyone follows Jon’s lead and doesn’t fight Sam.  One his friends (who’s name I don’t remember) even pretends to be hurt badly by one of Sam’s pathetic sword swings.  The instructor gets pissed and reminds them that they will want a man by their side outside the wall, not a boy.  I DO agree with this.  However, if that’s the case, the instructor should be trying to train him properly, rather than having people beat the shit out of him.  If you have someone at a drastically lower skill level than everyone else, you have to be easier on them at first in order for them to improve.  In my opinion.

Later on we see Jon and Sam developing a sort of camaraderie while on wash duty.  Sam talks about how he has never been with a girl, and we find out that Jon hasn’t either (I’ll volunteer).  He had the opportunity, but decided against it.  Sam asks him ‘if he knew where to put it’.  I lol’d.

In actuality, Jon was afraid of the possibility of siring another bastard child.

"So... you didn't know where to put it."

While  goofing off, the creepy instructor guy walks in.  And proves to be very, very creepy.  He tells them about a time when his group got caught in a storm outside the Wall during winter.  We find out that he partook in some cannibalism and starts trying to intimidate Sam by threatening to eat him too or something.  Like it’s hard to intimidate Sam.  He concludes by telling them that they will all drop like flies outside of the Wall.  Hooray!

Man, what a good instructor.

At King’s Landing:

At King’s Landing, Sansa is being told of her future of when she is married to Joffrey and has a son.  She is afraid that she will only have girls, as everyone would hate her (mainly Joffrey).  But seriously, Joffrey is a shit.  Who cares?

At the council meeting, even though Ned is less than happy about it,  the tournament is going on as planned.  As the city is going into chaos with so many people there, he pays for 50 additional guards for the City Watch, and an additional 20 of his own men to help keep the peace.

After the meeting, Ned talks to Pycelle about what was happening with Jon Arryn before he died.  According to Pycelle, he got rapidly sick and died quickly.  Pycelle thinks it was of natural causes, but Ned (seeing the corruption at King’s Landing) thinks it was poison that killed him.  Right before Arryn died, he was reading a book of lineages that listed the traits of the noble families, and said one phrase before he died: “The seed is strong.”  Pycelle gives the book to Ned.

On the way out he runs into Arya, who is practicing her sword fighting.  They have a small moment, but this is ruined when Ned tells her that someday she will marry a man and rule his castle, and have sons who will become knights.  She says that she won’t, because it ‘isn’t her’ before resuming practice.

Littlefinger (Petyr) comes across Ned in the gardens and tells him that he’s heard about the book from Pycelle.  Ned is slightly upset that word is so easily spread, and Littlefinger points out fairly clearly that there are hired ears everywhere.

It's like High School. But creepier.

He then gives Ned some valuable information about a local armorer that Arryn met with before he died, and Ned rethinks not trusting Littlefinger.  But Littlefinger disagrees however, and he tells Ned that he shouldn’t trust anyone, especially Littlefinger himself.

When Ned goes to visit the armorer he discovers that his apprentice is Robert’s bastard son.  The seed is strong in this one.

Later that night during the tournament, Cersei attempts to ‘bury the hatchet’ (though I’m sure she’d rather bury it in his head).  Ned is suspicious, as he should be.  She tries to convince him to leave King’s Landing, but Ned says that he is staying for as long as the king wants him to stay.  I imagine she is now going to manipulate Robert into wanting Ned to leave.

Meanwhile, at the tournament, the jousting starts while Sansa and Arya watch.   The ‘Mountain’ versus Arryn’s former squire who is now a knight.  The latter knight is sorely outmatched, and he quickly gets stabbed in the throat by the lance on the second pass and dies a gruesome death.  Sansa seems horribly disturbed by this and Littlefinger gleefully chimes in the story of brotherly love between ‘The Mountain’ and his brother ‘The Hound’.  The mountain didn’t take kindly to the hound playing with one of his toys when he was little, so he took his brother’s face and smashed it into the coals and watched his face melt.


Littlefinger tells Arya to keep the story a secret, as the Hound would probably kill her if he heard her talking about it.  Somehow, I doubt this, but he sufficiently scares the shit out of Sansa.

What did you think of this episode?  Don’t forget to tune in this Sunday for the next episode!