Note:  I’M GONNA READ THE FRICKIN’ BOOKS.  As soon as the season ends.  Gawd.

I’m really  sorry I got this out so late!  I will try to do these every Tuesday from now on.  I find if I set myself a specific time to do something, I won’t procrastinate it.

Anyways, as Monk would say…

Here’s what happened:

At King’s Landing:

Ned and Company arrive at King’s Landing!  On his way to the council meeting he runs into his favorite person: Jaime.  Jaime seems to think that Ned should be thanking him for killing the previous king (who killed Ned’s family).  Ned seems less than impressed as he did it dishonorably (“Is that what you tell yourself at night?), which clearly show a good example of how much of a Lawful Good character Ned is.

Moving along, Ned gets to the council chamber and we meet Lord Varys ‘Master of Whisperers’, Lord Renly Baratheon (the King’s brother), Petyr Baelish ‘Master of Coin’, and Grand Maester Pycelle.  Got all those names memorized yet?  Good.

My gaydar is going nuts. Get it? NUTS.

We quickly learn that Robert hasn’t really been doing much other than tournaments, booze, and wenches.  He has better things to do than attend meetings that affect his country.  The kingdom is 6 million in debt as Robert seems to spend the country’s money on Joffrey’s birthday parties.  Ned is furious at this, and refuses to go ahead with the plans of the tournament until he talks to Robert.

Switching to Breakfast at the Lannister’s, I realized very quickly why Joffrey is so screwed up.  His mother.  I’m not surprised, she is a righteous bitch.  She gives the usual lessons one’s mother gives to her son: lying, adultery, and murder.  Guess which Joffrey has a problem with.  (If you answered none, you are right.)  Although, I’d like to make myself clear.  Cersei clearly is partly to blame, but I think even if Catelyn Tully was his mother he would still be a little shit.  Case in point, look at Joffrey’s siblings.  Raised by the same mother, but entirely different temperaments.  One could argue that Cersei pays more attention to Joffrey as he is the heir to the throne, but still.  One has control over their destiny no matter how they are raised.

Maybe one day you can fuck your sister behind your wife's back, too!

Joffrey expresses his dislike for Sansa, but Cersei insists that he court her to strengthen their position.  She gives him a lesson in kingliness, and we get a glimpse at how bad of a King Joffrey will really be.  I do have to give Cersei one thing:  she’s smart.  But still creepy.

“Everyone who isn’t us is an enemy.”

Sansa and Arya are fighting again, and Ned goes to talk to Arya after she is sent to her room as Sansa has no desire to talk to her father.  Ned discovers that Arya has a sword, but allows her to keep it.  I imagine women are generally not allowed to sword fight, but when Ned sees that she is serious about it he even goes as far as to get her lessons.  (I love that scene!  For a little kid, she sure does catch on fast.)  He also tells her that Winter is Coming ™ and things are going to get much more difficult, thus the family needs to stick together.  Arya reluctantly agrees that she doesn’t hate Sansa after all.

Catelyn arrives at King’s Landing expecting to not be noticed, but is immediately escorted by guards to the brothel of Petyr Baelish (much to her anger).  Catelyn wonders how Petyr knew she was coming to King’s Landing, and Varys shows up claiming that “Knowledge is his trade”.  Although, he doesn’t seem to be that great at it as he doesn’t know who the dagger belongs to.  Petyr relishes in the fact that he however does.  Because it’s his.  Or was.  He lost it in a tournament to Tyrion Lannister.  Oh, great.  Guess who’s going to get blamed?

THIS GUY.

Petyr hints to Ned that his wife is in town after Ned receives the raven in the night, and they both go to the whorehouse.  Ned doesn’t believe that his wife is actually there and is furious for the trickery, and starts to choke out Petyr.  Catelyn takes that moment to inform Ned that she actually is there.

“Quick tempers, slow minds.”

Catelyn tells Ned of the attempt on Bran’s life, and how she suspects the Lannisters.  Ned tells her there is nothing he can do until he has proof, at which point he will bring it before Robert.  Petyr promises to try and find who is responsible.  With a touching farewell, Ned and Catelyn separate and Cat heads back for Winterfell.

Robert exchanges war stories with Ser Barristan Selmy of the Kingsguard.  We meet another Lannister named Lancel, although this one seems to be a bit more on the timid side.  Robert then shows his extreme dislike for the Lannister family in spite of his connection to them now, and calls Jaime in to taunt him a bit regarding his guard-post, and then asks him what the Mad King Aerys said before he stabbed him in the back.

“He said the same thing he’d been saying for hours.  Burn them all.”

In case you were missing the incest, we also got a nice creepy scene with Jaime and Cersei.

Maybe sleeping with my brother was a bad idea.

At Winterfell:

Bran wakes up, but would rather be dead without the use of his legs, much to the dismay of his brother.

At The Wall:

Jon seems to be getting angrier at his situation.  And getting a little high and mighty.  He kicks everyone’s ass at dueling and even takes on two at once.  The other guys don’t care for this.  I’m guessing this is the case because they try to slit his throat while he is changing.  Tyrion saves his life with a little name dropping, but quickly puts Jon in his place by reminding him that everyone else around him has had a much harder life than him.  And he should probably start trying to get a long with everyone a little better.  Tyrion won’t be there to save his neck forever.

Jon then travels to the top of the wall to see his Uncle Benjen, who he finds is about to leave for the northern wild lands.  Jon wants to go, but Benjen (aka HOT.) refuses, telling him “You’re no ranger.  Here, a man gets what he earns.  When he earns it.”  The lesson finally sinks in for Jon that he isn’t better than everyone else, and we next see him teaching his fellow men rather than beating them up.

After a chat with Benjen regarding the status of The Wall and what lies beyond, Tyrion leaves for King’s Landing (through Winterfell), but not before saying goodbye to Jon… and pissing off the edge of the world.

Across the Narrow Sea:

The Dothraki + twins are traveling across the plains of Essos, and Daenerys questions Ser Jorah to how the Dothraki got the slaves.  Apparently, it’s a thank you gift for the Dothraki not killing people.  Daenerys appears to not be happy regarding the slavery, and commands the entire horde to stop while she walks into the grass.  Viserys loses his shit on Daenerys for daring to command him to stop as he is the leader of their house.  Rakharo (Dany’s bodyguard) however strangles him with a whip (favorite scene in this episode) and only releases him at Dany’s command, albeit a bit confused at doing so.  Viserys however is forced to walk rather than ride his horse after the incident. 🙂

I thought the 'dragon' would be bigger...

We then find out through Dany’s handmaiden that she pregnant. (Groping breasts: the pregnancy test of the medieval times.)  During a cuddling scene (talk about relationship growth!) Daenerys tells Drogo that it’s a boy.  When he asks how she knows, she responds that she “just knows”.  The scene is pretty fucking adorable, and I’m glad to see them getting along.

Ser Jorah also finds out that she is pregnant, and this seems to startle him, and he rides off.

—-

What did you think of the episode?  Did you like it?  Were you able to remember the names of all the new characters?

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Comments on: "Episode 3: “Lord Snow” – Review/Synopsis" (2)

  1. THis is a great show so far!!! I am excited on seeing how it progresses! I am definalty going to have to get the books though lol

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